Thursday, September 30, 2010

Thoughtful Thursday...

When Ammy was told she might have to do Chemotherapy her Mom told her she could color her hair. As it got closer to starting her Chemo she asked her Aunts, cousin and grandma to join in too. It was a way to support her as she journeys through this new stage in life. I write this from am Aunts honest perspective and an older sis. If you don't want to read about my random thoughts please go ahead and skip to the pictures.
I have no idea what this is like for Ammy or Beth so I will tell you what it is like for me. There are moments when I want to break down and cry and cry at the injustice and cruelty of cancer. Times when I would trade places with both of them in a heartbeat to save them from the heartache and pain. Times when I see the miracles God has done and know he is with her and will use all of this for his Glory. Times when I wonder if our miracles have run out. Times when all I want to is hug them both and snuggle for a long time and pretend this not happening. Times when I want to help make a plan and research all I can. Honestly there are even time when I look at my kids and am so thankful they don't have to go through chemo. Then I feel guilty and then I start worrying about the little things because this is just too big for me. I wonder late at night what lies ahead, will Beth be able to finish school? Will Ammy be subject to mean cruel kids who don't understand why she is loosing her hair and is sick all the time? How do I teach my own kids compassion and understanding? How do I balance being supportive Aunty and Sis with being a wife and Mom? How many more times will we watch her go through a new Chemo plan? Will she catch an infection due to her weakened immune system? How do I not cross the line between being supportive to interfering? How will they ever know just how amazing I think they both are? So much more runs trough my head all day! Basically I am always thinking about it and what is my role in all of it. How I can best help and support them. Their bravery and courage are an inspiration and I am so very thankful to have them as family!

Sunday afternoon we all took a last min trip to the salon to color a strip of hair pink to show our support. It was a great time to laugh and let Ammy know we are all thinking about her all the time and stand beside her as she starts her chemo.

Because of her dark hair Little miss has just a faint streak you can see a little bit on the right side.

After the girls all wanted their pictures taken and they picked the spot and the pose :)

All The Girls and Little Mister. When Little Mister was asked if he wanted to put some color in his hair he said " NO, I want my hair just the way God made it!". I love that boy and the funny things he says!

My favorite picture from the day!


Becky said...

Thank you so very much for sharing this special moment with us and for being so honest about what you all are going through. I agree with you about how Beth and Ammy are an inspiration to all of us. I admire your whole family and how supportive you are of each other. This is one of those things we will not understand short of heaven, I think. We just have to keep trusting and praying. You are all in our prayers.

Anonymous said...

You have voiced what so many of us feel at times like this -------helpless! Thank goodness we have a wonderful heavenly Father who carries us through these times. What do people do that do not have Him? I can not imagine. I love the photos!!! They are full of JOY and love...thank you so much for sharing them. We continue to keep Ammy and Beth in our prayers!!! May God continue to give you wisdom and guidance as you play so many roles in each others' lives.