Friday, July 30, 2010

what matters most...

What a crazy summer and it seems it continues to surprise us. Two week ago we were getting ready to head off for our favorite vacation a week of camping at Wallowa lake. While we were packing up the car we heard from someone who is handling our complete against our previous buyers Mortgage broker only to find out he never worked for the company he says he worked for, and never filed any loan applications. We are still trying to process the fact that our lives were on hold for a lie. So when we headed out the next morning for our vacation I was ready for a week of relaxation and laughter with friends. Not very far into our trip I was woken up by my husband yelling a word I will not type or repeat :) I admit I was mad to be woken up but even more mad he would say that word in front of our kids. Once I opened my eyes I see a deer at the corner of the driver side and a loud crash to follow. The swearing was instantly forgiven and this is what our car looked like.

After hours of driving and talking we continued to be thankful for just how lucky we were and how bad it could have been. Our kids were looking at the bright side too. Little Mister was thankful God provides and takes care of us he told me many times that day. Miss M who was in the car behind us was thankful she got to cross the deer of her travel search and find I made for the trip :)
That night we made to camp saw some friends we have not seen in a year and set up camp. The kids went to the park with Brian and discovered dad is really good at giving them underdogs on the swing. While there dad had his own discovery... who cares where we live, if we have a big dent in the car what matters most is right here in front of him, his family!
We continued to remind ourselves of this as the week went on. I called my sister on Wednesday night to find out how my Niece Ammy's MRI went. I was shocked and truly devastated to find out that a spot they have been watching has grown and she will need surgery to remove it. Given the location, rate of growth and past history it is highly likely to be cancer again. After they biopsy the mass they will determine the treatment plan of chemo or radiation. I dismissed myself from dinner went for a walk and if you were in Joseph that day I was the lady sitting on the curb sobbing. Then I remembered what we had been talking about what really matters. I could sit here crying and be down for weeks or I could enjoy the small moments and leave the big things to God. I picked myself up prayed and handed over my anger and grief then went back to continue our family vacation. We are home now and the kids were told today about cousin me me's upcoming surgery. It was rough and the anger and grief have hit us all. We are focusing on the surgery and letting the rest go as much as we can. Keeping in mind that Ammy may have cancer but that is not who she is just something she has Ammy is still Ammy she has the same smile that brighten my day. She is the same sweet girl I have always known and love.

Tonight while editing pictures I found this and was reminded that this the small moments, the smiles and hugs that is what matters most.

Please take the time today to take a picture or write down the things that matter most to you. I would love to see and hear from you as to what matters most to you.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

not moving...yet?

I have been slacking off a bit on the posting I am sorry! I have been super busy! We did not move to the new house as to make a long story short the buyer of our house could not get her financing together. So after about 1o weeks of living out of boxes we unpacked a few things like plates, silverware and cups. The kids were so excited to eat off of real plates with real forks! It was really cute just how excited they were and couldn't wait to tell daddy when he got home. We have decided to put the house back on the market and see what happens. So far not so good but it has only been 4 days :)
I thought I would share a conversation I had with Little Mister that pretty much sums up how we are feeling about the whole thing:

Me " I wanted to let you know we are not going to be moving to the new house after all"
Little Mister- With tears in his eyes " ok, mom"
M- " Are you ok?"
LM- " I am not sad, I choose to be happy"
M- " mommy and daddy are sad it is ok if you feel sad too!"
LM- with a fake smile says " no I really just want to be happy"
A few minutes later I hear him telling his sister that we are not moving but he still gets to go to his new school. Oops! forgot that part.
M- " bubby you can't go to your new school because we have to live in the new house to go to that school"
LM " oh, ok mom. I think I still want to be happy ok"
Couldn't help but wrap my arms around him in a great big hug!
LM- " Mom can Ammy come over to play?"
M-" well, bubby Ammy moved and now she lives to far to come play everyday. we can call and set up a play date soon" ( yes I realize now I should have told him this sooner!)
LM- With big tears running down his face " It's ok mom"
LM- " mom is it summer?" I can see why he asked as it feels like our lives have been on hold and somehow we missed spring all together.
M- "yes"
LM-" Good, can we go to Wallowa lake soon?"
M- thankful for the positive turn in the conversation! " Yes! what do you want to do at the lake this year?"
LM- " I want to play with my friends J, A , and R"
M " well honey J,A and R moved to Alaska and they will not be there this year but your friends L and M will be."
LM- " ok they can meet my friend S!"
I tell you that the tears started in me...
M" well honey S can not go to wallowa this year"
LM looks at me with the tears on his face and says " mom I think I don't want to talk to you anymore."
to which he was silent for about an hour which for those of you who know him that is a very long time. With lots of hugs and kisses he was ready to face the rest of the day.

We are ready to move forward see what lies ahead but every once in a while we stop to catch our breath and sometimes feel a little sad.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Cousin me me and Little miss walking together to me me's dance recital. Yes we are all proud she is back in dance again! Here are a few pictures before and after the recital I hope to get some more picture done soon of her in her dance outfits.

this is her favorite pose and I often do not put it on the blog but I have about a hundred pictures just like this I thought it was about time to show you all one.