Monday, January 16, 2012

Gratitude...

I told you I would share some of our list as I look to write down one thousand blessings. I had hoped to have a picture to share with this post however the picture is in my sisters camera. So here are a few gifts I couldn't wait to share. To be honest I am not sure  a picture or words can even begin to sum up the emotion that swells with in my soul every time I think about that one moment in time.
- A Smile full of joy and hope
- no more Chemo song!
- God's love through nurses who truly care
- Chemo pals

  I long to properly put in to words the amount of joy, sorrow, hope, and love wrapped into one magical moment. Please forgive my inability to truly share with you just how amazing it was. As Ammy lay in the bed tired, feeling sick, and annoyed. Her face changed in a mater of seconds, when the nurses gathered around and started to sing. I wish I could remember the words to a simple song sung by voices who sing not because of their gift in music but their joy in seeing lives healed. I wish I could remember the words to the song that I know so many have longed to hear. I however could not take my eyes of Ammy's face to even hear the words. The smile was huge, her eyes light up with promise and joy. In that moment I saw the last few years flash before me the ups and downs the people who have touched her life and the lives she has changed. I realized in that moment I was seeing what The author in the book One thousands Gifts was talking about when she spoke of the "Ugly Beautiful". Cancer is ugly! But this moment, the one I was blessed to be a part of was one of the most beautiful ones I have ever seen. Not because the chemo is over because we know the time will come when that will start again, not because of the next step because that is a nervous waiting game. Beautiful because in that moment I saw pure joy, a heart awaken with hope again. A moment where you could see love poured out in a small hospital "room".  A moment where this little girl was about to enter into a new phase and she was excited!  Is there a part of me that still wishes that even this unbelievable moment never happened that never the ugly word cancer became a part of her life? Yes! But it did and it is part of her life so I choose to look for the beauty and the gift in the middle of the ugly cancer. I feel blessed that through her courage she has shown me and allowed me to see God at work, God full of grace, God offering hope, to see truly HIS Face.

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